I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not touch you
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
And it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth
As all things are filled with my soul
You emerge from the things
Filled with my soul
You are like my soul
A butterfly of dream
And you are like the word: Melancholy
I like for you to be still
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid
I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would've died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I'm happy;
Happy that it's not true
The name of the poem is "I Like You to be Still." By Pablo Neruda. I thought of it today because the word melancholy has been in the deep recesses of my mind. Likely because in a strange state of melancholy some friends have called after hearing about Heath Leger, afraid I might fall victim to his "ailment." I realize I have issues sleeping, but I don't take sleeping medication. So, melancholy is the word of the day. And Pablo Neruda is the balm - for any ailment.
Anyway, for a good while I have been trying my best to capture something regarding the past year (at least since my birthday). So, I figured somewhat late into the New Year is better then never. And rather than be too complex, I figured I would keep it simple. Three hundred and sixty five days, so what does this represent? Well…it represents the sum of days in a year, and for me, in retrospect, the period from one year to the present is pretty staggering. It’s almost cliché to say, “Time goes by so quickly.” But, time certainly passes by quickly and what you do with those seconds, days, and hours, matters – because time is irrecoverable.
Do more good, make things count, just make it last. I have to say that one of the more impressionable bits of wisdom shared with me this past year is to try to experience everything as though it were the first time and savor it as though it might be the last. This, more than anything, has stuck with me, and moments actually feel better because I am more present. It has taken practice and focus, but this simple notion has brought a bit of clarity and joy with such simplicity. In 2007, there were many roller coaster moments, but by the time the New Year came – I had some pretty impressive memories and moments that I never would have imagined for myself that year.
As far as travels and crossing things off of my since updated “bucket list”, I visited Angkor Wat and Machu Picchu. Cambodia is an interesting place. Stepping away from Angkor Wat, I was so stricken by the power of the site - by my utmost and compelling desire to be there for so long, that I had to fight back tears of emotion, sweeping from the ground and through me like a strong wind. The site was far more impressive than I could have ever imagined. 
I visited about 8 other sites throughout Siem Riep. Although I had a driver, he was more of a "dropper offer." I arrived at 8:30am, began wandering around 11 and was out at the temples until after sunset. Quite beautiful. Night swimming beneath the stars there was quite spectacular, much of it is unfortunately marred by the desperate poverty - where tuition for school almost seems to be "expected" from the pockets of foreigners. The children are much wiser than their years from working on the streets and carry an edge no child should ever know, inducing a feeling, which feels so out of place in such majestic scenery.
In two days I did much hiking and climbing, likely a good 16 hours worth, I can say that earnestly, if you explore the +300 photos since the inception of my travels, the temples do not really have stairs and most of the signs (if you are allowed to ascent) say "climb at your own risk." They are quite steep, the roads - with the exception of main roads, are almost nonexistent. I was grateful for two things on the Cambodia trip - my hiking boots and my havanas (flip flops). Between the two, my feet did quite well.
My journey to Peru in December was beautiful. I have told countless listeners that I could easily move to Cusco and be a waitress (works well in my mind anyway). It is easy to see why Hemmingway was so smitten with the country. I will certainly be back. My journey was 10 days. 4 to complete the Inca Trail. 3 days in Cusco and 3 days in Lima (I stayed at the guest house of artist Victor Delfin, absolutely spectacular). Macchu Piccu was as magical as anything I could have ever dreamed. Although Charis and I have been trying to figure out our “twin” tattoos, I have decided my next tattoo will be the condor (Charis has firmly decided I lost my mind on this one) – but, really – the Andes captured a distinct part of my soul and the Condor is symbolic of that. For a great deal of my life I have felt an uncanny sense of biophilia for Africa. But after experiencing the Andes first hand, I can understand the sense of connection the Incans felt for madre tierra.
The genius designers built Macchu Piccu in such way that the Sacred City looks like a majestic old Condor flying west where the sun goes to sleep, to the Milky Way and the Hanan Pacha (the upper world). On his back the biggest bird in the world carries the most important religious symbols of the people of the Andes, so that the Old Bird is the messenger from humankind to eternity, to the infinite.
The environment of the complex, the acrobatic building and the magical neighborhood capture every visitor to the Sacred City. Many books are written about Machu Picchu, millions of pictures are taken every year, but nothing can touch the experience of the sensation being in person on this sacred place, no picture, no film, no description can give the impression of how Machu Picchu really is as a majestic complex.
In addition to some fabulous travels, I also had the opportunity to welcome some exceptional new people into my life. I have always found it odd how certain people randomly appear in our lives at unexpected times, in unexpected ways. I can only say that more than being able to see the world – I am enormously blessed to have met and come to know and continue knowing such caring and wonderful people. I know you come into and leave this life alone, but ultimately life is a journey, which is meant to be shared. The moments between those two points are what matter most.
So, on that note, au revoir and Feliz Año Nuevo! I leave you with this great little video from JibJab. Next up – a review of © Murakami at MOCA (Los Angeles) and my latest adventures with Charis. I’ll soon be reviewing Ashes and Snow from Mexico City as well so – stay tuned!
Amor y paz,
J
